Choosing a sperm donor can be an exciting – and often intimidating – decision for many needing third-party reproduction assistance to have a child
Choosing the “biological father” of one’s child when using donor sperm does not have to be intimidating – if you have the right information. I’m relating that information here so you can make the best decision with confidence.
As with many aspects of infertility, there’s misinformation about choosing donated sperm. For instance, some people believe redheads can’t be sperm donors: That’s not the case at all. Or, only same-sex couples use sperm donors: Also not true, according to Fairfax Cryobank, one of the sperm banks we recommend.
In fact, most of the people using donor sperm at Ember Fertility Center are single women.
Let’s get to the facts about how to choose a sperm donor, including my personal tips on things to consider and do in the process.
At Ember, everyone is a VIP – very important patient
Who needs a sperm donor?
- Single women.
- Lesbian couples.
- Nonbinary couples without a partner who produces sperm.
- Heterosexual couples (see more further below).
Related Reading: LGBTQ+ Fertility Services
Single mothers by choice
We see more single women, including international patients, who use donor sperm than any other group. Often referred to as single mothers by choice, these women who require a sperm donor for conception often feel pressure as they get older to have a child, because female fertility decreases with age.
Maybe they haven’t found the right partner and do not want to delay having a child further. Some women prefer to be a solo parent and have complete control over parenting decisions.
Infertility treatments with donor sperm: IUI & IVF
Our fertility practice offers two treatments to help people using donor sperm achieve pregnancy.
Which you use depends on a variety of issues we will thoroughly discuss with you. Of the two options, IVF has the better success rates. It also allows for preimplantation genetic testing (PGT) of the embryos. This test, performed after fertilization in the lab, identifies embryos without observed genetic abnormalities. PGT can prevent implanting an embryo with a genetic defect, which can cause pregnancy failure or having a child with a birth defect.
Related Reading: Sperm Donation
Should you use a sperm bank or a known individual sperm donor?
Overwhelmingly, we recommend using a qualified sperm bank to choose donor sperm. While it is certainly possible to use an individual known to the woman, that can create significant complications, such as greatly increased risks of infectious disease transmission and legal and parental rights disputes.
Sperm banks test for infectious diseases
Sperm banks follow strict guidelines to reduce the risk of transmitting an infectious disease by testing each donor for many diseases such as hepatitis B & C, gonorrhea, syphilis, cytomegalovirus (CMV) and others. The donor must test negative before a sperm sample is collected. The donated sperm is usually frozen and quarantined for six months or more. Then the donor is retested for infectious diseases, and the quarantined sperm is only released for donation if that final test is negative.
For known sperm donors, we check them for infectious disease and collect the sperm if they tested negative for disease. But we do not quarantine the sperm. This presents the prospect that the donated sperm could possibly still carry an infectious disease. This is because when the test was given, the infection may have been contracted but did not yet show up in screening. This is an important reason why we recommend using a sperm bank donor.
Other disadvantages of using a known sperm donor
A known donor can seek custody rights even after first agreeing not to. Knowing the donor can result in troublesome emotional issues for the mother, the child and the donor.
If using a known donor, you will have to arrange for extensive tests and evaluations, which is already an established standard in qualified sperm banks. You will also need an attorney to draw up a legal contract.
Sperm banks Ember Fertility Center recommends
We have a relationship with several sperm banks and assure patients that they operate under the highest safety standards. Importantly, these include rigorous testing of the donor, as mentioned above. Following are sperm banks we recommend.
Our patients can use other sperm banks if desired. We have good experiences with those above.
For detailed information on The American Society for Reproductive Medicine’s accepted guidelines for sperm donation, consult this Fertility and Sterility article.
Working with sperm banks in choosing a sperm donor
Sperm banks provide a search function, offering a variety of filters to select. These options include:
- Ethnicity.
- Blood type.
- Physical traits like eye and hair color, height and weight.
- Education and career.
- Personal interests. These can be quite detailed, with options for astrological sign, religion and individual talents (musician, athlete, engineer, etc.).
- Health screening status in addition to infectious diseases noted above.
- More filter options.
- Donor age: Generally, we think the younger the better, so donors in their 20s are better than those in their 40s. (See more in my personal tips below.)
- Avoid donors with a strong family history of certain hereditary or genetically influenced conditions, for example metabolic disorders (diabetes), cardiovascular diseases, neurological disorders (Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s), and hereditary cancer syndromes (breast cancer, colon cancer).
Many times the search function will provide an overview of the individual donor. This can provide further insights such as: “This donor is outgoing, playful and values helping others.”
Selecting desired traits in a sperm donor
People selecting a donor of sperm might be interested in only a few filter topics, such as ethnicity and health screening status. Others may want to select more specific traits as indicators of what their child may inherit from the donor.
There is no certainty that any of the traits selected will result in your child having the features of the person donating the sperm. But there is a greater chance of that occurring if you indicate your preference in the filtering process. This is particularly true with physical traits.
Select the filter values and run a donor search. Begin narrowing your pool of prospective donors.
Sperm donor identity and contact decisions
Sperm banks often have different donor disclosure and contact levels. These are important considerations that need to be made at the time of donor selection that affect relationships and the child throughout their life.
Options for the donor in this regard can include complete anonymity, agreement for one contact after the child reaches age 18 and other contact options. These can vary by sperm bank.
California law on donor parentage identity
California Assembly Bill 785 on parentage, effective since 2020, requires sperm banks to obtain and keep a donor’s full name, date of birth, address and other contact information. The law also requires the donor to declare whether he wants to remain anonymous or authorize the sperm bank to reveal his personal information to a child once they reach the age of 18 and request such information.
These are important decisions to consider in selecting a sperm donor. Some mothers want to be able to explain to a child the circumstances of their conception or why the child has certain features the mother doesn’t. Some do not. We advise all seeking a sperm donor to consult with a professional skilled in addressing the psychological aspects of these and other issues related to using a sperm donor.
Purchasing and storing vials of donor sperm
Once you have selected the specific sperm donor, the next steps are purchasing the sperm vials and storing them at the sperm bank or Ember’s cryopreservation lab until time of the IUI or IVF procedure.
A key factor in a vial of sperm is the total motile cell count, which is a measure of the number of moving, viable sperm. Types of sperm vials are indicated by the type of inseminating procedure including IUI, IVF, IVF with ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection) and intracervical insemination (ICI). These variations most often deal with washed and prepared sperm.
We advise patients to buy IUI-level sperm, even if we are doing an IVF procedure. This is because IUI level is usually better than IVF level. But it is more expensive.
Depending on your desires for future family, you may want to purchase more than one vial of sperm from the same donor. The second vial can be used as a backup – in fact, I always encourage this (see below). The sperm bank will let you know how much sperm your selected donor has in inventory.
Some sperm banks offer on-site storage with one-day delivery options when needed, usually including a rush fee. Some, such as Cryobank, offer a buy-back program for unused sperm within a 36-month period.
Dr. Freije’s insights & tips on using donor sperm
I’ve conducted many inseminations using donor sperm and have a thorough understanding of the process and the various options. Following are insights I have gained that are helpful for those using a sperm donor.
Evaluating the sperm donor
- Always find out how old the man was when he donated his sperm. The younger he was the more likely it is that his sperm cells will be healthy. If the sperm bank does not list this information, ask them to provide it to you.
- Check with the sperm bank if the donor you have in mind has a record of previously successful births with his donated sperm. This is a good indication of success with your pregnancy.
- Check the genetic report of the donor. For instance, a mother with a genetic risk for cystic fibrosis would not want to use a donor who also has a genetic predisposition for this condition. This would greatly increase the chance of a child born with cystic fibrosis.
- Many sperm banks don’t make available adult photos of the donor but will have a photo of the donor as a child. This makes it difficult to judge what the physical traits of the adult donor are, as well as the traits of a child by that donor.
Purchasing sperm from a sperm bank
- Know that sperm prices can fluctuate based on timing and donor availability.
- Always buy two vials of sperm for one IVF cycle. The second is a backup in case the first cycle doesn’t work, or if a genetic condition in the embryo is discovered through PGT.
- If considering multiple pregnancies, purchase more vials.
- The sperm bank will often prioritize that the low inventory for a donor will go to a patient who has used the donor before.
Heterosexual couples needing donor sperm
Heterosexual partners also need donor sperm. This is an option for conception via IUI and IVF. These couples need a sperm donor if the male partner:
- Produces no sperm in the ejaculate (azoospermia).
- Has a very low sperm count or unhealthy sperm as determined by a semen analysis.
- Has blocked sperm ducts.
- Is a carrier of a genetic defect that can result in genetically flawed embryos or a child with genetic birth defects.
